Sister dating a loser

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For phone conversations, electronic companies make a handy gadget that produces about twenty sounds — a doorbell, an oven or microwave alarm, a knock on the door, etc. Now we are in this unspoken war where my mother and my sister team up against me and try to take what is unconsicious and virtuous within me and put it on the outside so they can try it on and have new experiences. Retrieved 26 August 2014. But it only serves to reveal their personal insecurities irrelevant to this discussion.

Instead, those women just want to play the field and have a good time. Para além do enquadramento legal da criação desse tipo de vídeo, expurgá-lo da rede depois de compartilhado é extremamente difícil. I am at ease talking to anybody about anything. They talked on and off for the next 6 or so years. If you are anywhere near Port Townsend WA, there is a phenominal instructor there - Alex Bryan with Third Ear Project. My Daughter is 41 and dates losers. Yes, she might get defensive, or it may piece your friendship. You had me laughing and also cringing because you have a funny way of pointing things out and also because you cut to the heart of some things that I have sister dating a loser admit are true. She is that dumbass women that hides the fact that your are as solo as she is and you make the perfect match in your hell. In severe cases, they go. I ended up telling him it was a false alarm but it really wasnt.

This is the reason why nice guys turned most of these type of women away. Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase.

What to do if your sister or daughter is dating a loser? - If we never try meeting other people, we will never get rejected. At first, I thought, she must have some underlying self-esteem issues.

There are countless posts online where women complain about their deadbeat boyfriends for never paying for anything, never buying them gifts, always playing video games all day long while still , and never holding on to a job for more than a year to save their lives. Which begs the question: With a male world population of 3+ billion, why on earth would any woman ever settle for a deadbeat loser? THE REASONS WHY WOMEN GO OUT WITH DEADBEATS Settling for a deadbeat loser is like settling for a job you hate. There are way too many people who hate their jobs and keep on doing them, just like there are way too many women who settle for men who treat them poorly. What is it about non-ideal situations which makes us keep carrying on, doing nothing to change? If you hate your job, in hand! He probably is reasonably attractive and tells a good story about his current situation and his ambitions. Obviously, he will be on his best behavior during the wooing process. It might take one week, or it might take many months, but until a consummation is made, guys can be very charming! By the time a woman hooks up with the guy, only afterward will she see his true colors. As we are generally all optimists, a woman believes she can salvage the relationship and change him for the better. In retrospect, every woman who has gone out with a deadbeat loser realizes the case. This is utterly disappointing and ludicrous. You deserve to have someone love you back as much as you love them. Those who ask for promotions get promotions. Every day, we have the opportunity to meet a hundred people if we want to. It just takes initiative. If we never try meeting other people, we will never get rejected. Guys get rejected left and right because for some reason, society has told us we always have to initiate. Instead, we settle for what we have or just being a lone. I never thought about this until readers kept on mentioning that deadbeat women tend to go out with deadbeat men. Society always sees men as losers, and women as misguided. I guess there is equality for all, after all! Read the 175+ comments so far on this post with fascinating perspective from both men and women. Not wanting to be with the hottest and nicest woman possible is hard for men to understand. We men think that it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. Guys also love it when their woman gets all the attention from other guys. Of course, we all know women cheat on men as much as men cheat on women. Online dating sights have increased your probabilities 10 fold thanks to just several clicks of a button, you can search for that compatible someone. Compare the scope now vs. Settling is such a weak thing to do. It screams of insecurity. You have the right to be happy because someone out there will truly value who you really are! Having your financial life in order. One of the best way to build wealth is by. As a woman, you want to financially depend on nobody but yourself. Personal Capital is a free online software which aggregates all your financial accounts in one place so you can see where you can optimize. Before Personal Capital, I had to log into eight different systems to track 28 different accounts brokerage, multiple banks, 401K, etc to manage my finances. Now, I can just log into Personal Capital to see how my stock accounts are doing, how my net worth is progressing, and where my spending is going. Author Bio: Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help people achieve financial freedom sooner, rather than later. He spent 13 years working in investment banking, earned his MBA from UC Berkeley, and retired at age 34 in San Francisco. Everything Sam writes is based on first-hand experience because money is too important to be left up to pontification. Every quarter, Sam runs his investments through their free Retirement Planner and Investment Checkup tool to make sure he stays financially free, forever. I used to see these beautiful, outgoing girls go for guys that treated them like crap, cheated on them constantly, in some cases, pushed them around and basically disgraced them. I think much of it starts in the home and how dad treated mom if dad was around much. I work part time myself and I enjoy life as much as I can. And it can be intimidating to see other guys making more money than I and going for a carreer. But when I hear them talk about women I feel reassured. Ofcourse this is a generalisation, there are always exeptions. After I finished my schooling in my later 20s, hit the gym, gained weight, have a great gym body plus a 6 figure salary, I school pathetic losers in their 20s with part time jobs. I bang one 21 year old after another, pump them and dump them and move onto the next. Nothing brings out confidence in a guy than having a great body, looking good and a 6 figure bankroll. Because I have money like that. You sound so very insecure, and narrow minded1 Whom messed up your self-esteem in High School? You need a reality check, cause life is not all about looks, money and sex! Trust me, you will someday regret it in your 40s, why you had to use women, and dumped them after! Real men do not have your kind of mindset! Good luck on traveling the world and connecting your soul with different spirits! Some of you insecure guys of this generation think sex is a casual satisfaction! I think the phenomenon is more prevalent amongst younger women. In my limited experience women who have some life experiences age is a number, but maturity is a relevant measure tend to make smarter decisions about who they enter into full relationships with. The Western marketing machine is basically built to make women feel self conscious about everything and especially their bodies; therefore, when young women have not developed a solid sense of self confidence they are very vulnerable to a guy who knows the right phrases to take advantage of the situation. Young men are targeted much less and get more space to go through the growing up process and build self confidence naturally. Personally, I spent a ton of time trying to look way more like a cool rebel than I ever should have. The sad thing is that it worked. Paisano I really like your analogy. It really takes a few years to really get to know someone really really well, anything else is just lust at first sight…. Personally speaking, I hate insecurities in a woman. She loves me for who I am, I raised our kids cook get food and give her my undivided attention. When she is off and we still manage to have sex 6 days of every week. And surprizing she keeps me around. I also think that some women want to be with the jerks because they feel like they will be able to change them and have the happy ending — a fairy tale fantasy, in my mind. It could be interesting to see if the power dynamic shifts in the future with women beginning to out educate, and potentially out earn men. If they spend their 20s and early 30s with a deadbeat, then it really hurts her chances to find another one, since women prefer older men, and older men therefore have to choice but to go out with younger women. Men get older, they have a wider choice. Women get older, and there are less older men. When in reality, a lot of guys working on their careers in their mid-20s will just bang these women for the easy access but will not engage with them in a long term relationship something I advise men to avoid as there is nothing in it for you. If a guy wants a long term relationship, he wants kids. Women have it easier when they are younger, men have to be patient. With social media, reality TV, etc, I met a lot of immature women in their 30s still living in a teenaged fairy-tale land. Nevertheless, most women would prefer to be in a relationship with someone close to their own age, not much younger or much older. I advise young women to avoid relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them unless the man is filthy rich. Otherwise, the woman gets saddled with a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude with aging sperm and has to play nursemaid to him as his health deteriorates. Fact is all people age like spoiled milk; no one gets better with age. No matter what we do, our bodies continue to break down, and older men are even more likely than older women to be responsible for gene mutations and birth defects in their children since male sperm cells mutate much more quickly than female egg cells. Why would a woman in her 20s date a used-up man in his 30s? I advise young women to avoid long-term relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them except a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude who they will have to play nurse to as his health declines. If you want a longer term, fulfilling relationship, upper 20s or throughout the 30s man is much better alternative. The individuals are fun to be around, but no depth. They are spontaneous because they have no plans for life. Why are women attracted to them? It is simple, they like the excitement and fun part of the relationship! They overlook the bad aspects because of the excitement. Low self esteem may prevent women from moving on. Why do people stay in the work environment is complacency. It is hard to make a change! Usually it takes some incident to make them do something. Could it relate to low esteem, self confidence or ambition? People are willing to put up with a bad situation because of many of the same reasons. Depending on your looks, your age, your location, your personality quirks some people are just weirder than others , your values some people need to marry within their religion, for example , and your own life circumstances think health issues, financial issues, and other hindrances , it really CAN be that hard. It really IS that hard for some people to find a compatible match or a match that they believe is compatible. Leave the projects for the construction workers. How do women know that nice guys are boring? They probably have good jobs, so they can afford to do more cool things. Ladies are no brighter than dudes obviously. Definitely agree with retirebyforty and Hannah, and miss Moneypenniless I think back then, I was deluding myself to think that he was ambitious and he was alright. I think I was trying to change him, by trying to make him more motivated like I was, by trying to get him that job. I was happy and complacent with the way he treated me. He was nice, always agreed with me, etc. I was acting more like his mother than his girlfriend, and after that incident, I realized it and decided to put an end to it. These are powerful feelings that involve instant gratification and not as long term as being with someone who is best for you as you grow older. Men can be SO shallow. Once I post my picture, all interest fades. I know that years ago, this was why I dated one myself — a feeling of no control over your own life. It really comes down to how girls respond emotionally. Even as a guy, do I respond logically or emotionally to a woman? But logically, would such a woman who decided to get implants be the ideal mother to my child? I respond EMOTIONALLY not LOGICALLY. If the girl was a scumbag who did drugs and was crazy, etc. I think it goes both ways. When we are young and in school, we are more equal. So maybe the normal girl dates the normal guy and it even makes sense, but then the normal girl blossoms both in appearance and in intellect. Now we have a problem, the new female knockout is dating a loser or really a less ambitious person. This is why I sometimes see very attractive women driving in a beatup truck with some guy that looks like a freak. Some seem perfect content to live with such less ambitious guys and even find their mate very attractive because they are different. Of course kids are also a factor. I think this brings up a bigger point about life. That is, knowing when to end something that is no longer healthy for you or the other person. Another aspect to consider is the generation in question. Life is a learning experience once you experience something bad your mind is programmed to either fight or take flight. Yeah I have noticed this and they are usually smokin almost beyond smokin hot women that go for these pathetic down right LOSERS!! WTF are you doing with LOSER BOY that still lives with his parents, never has money, drives a total beat up piece of junk vehicle, never went to college and has a dead end job. SERIOUSLY women is your self worth, self esteem really that low??? Even though she went to college, has a great career etc is her self esteem really that low??? MAKES NO EFFIN SENSE!! Leave him, dump him, throw him to the curb. We educated, great career, nice vehicle, never living at parents home after high school guys are right the eff under your nose. There the junky, filthy disgusting, scrungy guys that are useless, they never have money and are constantly poor.. Some of those trust funders are just plain lazy cause they obviously can be and have never had to have a sense of direction. Re youngandth: You stated in your comment: He was nice, always agreed with me, etc. He sounds like a total wuss especially with the agreeing part. A woman gets smitten when said type man is wooing her aggressively so logical thinking is out the window. Sometimes women could easily use guidance from a guys perspective and lead her to the guy she should be with lol :!! That guy being her guide lol!! For some women the world would be a whole lot easier if they just let us men guide them in the right direction lol!! So many facets to explore. What did we learn at home? Were the parents controlling, laissez-faire; more matriarchal or patriarchal? How educated were the parents? Many times we think that we can change what we do not like. Men and women may think of different things, but change and rescue are probably primary. Not to mention that she and I were both too hard-headed back then. Now in my second round, things are going very well. Both of us had some decent lessons that contributed to a better round this time. But I think that it boils down to what we as male or female learned at home and in society at large. Our society places women in a distant second place. If that notion is compounded on the home front, girls growing up will have a more difficult time. Lead your children by example, not by lecture. Same with your subordinates in the office or the field. Actions always speak so much more loudly and clearly. This is honest, not cocky. Unfortunately thus said men are always lacking something. Relates to half of me but the other half is null. So perhaps not all deadbeats ate losers, some are really late bloomers. Might be a reason as to why girls dig losers. I am currently dating a dead beat. When you meet a charming man, a smart man, and the chemistry is right, you dive in. You see hopes and dreams and a future. You are in love but worried. Do you give up, pull the plug? Sleeping in with No money to pay bills. The excuses start coming. Once your heart is full, can you keep the faith that his word will be good. Unfortunately women let television and magazines tell them the type of man they should find attractive. Most of these men are rich, black or a criminal. I myself am a really nice looking man, with a good job, I am a loving, giving, caring and good hearted man. Where I live, all the women like over weight, uneducated, sloppy, thugs, jerks that will not amount to a hill of beans in life. It did not use to be that way. Women use to date only men who were successful and could support them in the future. Now they only go out with criminals, drug dealers and thugs. Then these women complain and wonder why they are so unhappy? My Daughter is 41 and dates losers. I kind blame her father. He is no longer in my life cause he was a very poor example of a person, husband and father. Although she did not have a positive male role model I feel she is 41 a grown ass woman and should know better. I and family think she may need to talk to someone, we think she has low self esteem, depressed and often is ruled my her emotions for this loser. I pray for God to give her wisdom. She has children and they are watching and they make comments about her choice of men Lord knows I too have dated losers but i got rid of them quickly. I try to give her advice but she is very stubborn. So I guess she will learn one day but geez she is 41 a grown assssssssssssss woman! On the other hand, my one paralyzing fear is being alone the rest of my life and age. I think men have a little more freedom in that regard. My college educated daughter started dating a guy a few years older, no drivers Lic. Why I keep asking myself. We set her up to have a great life and she is engaged to this person who has not improved his situation in the last year. I just some women look for someone that are needy and they can be above them. Serios question here, Define what is a deatbeat loser precicely? I think of myself as a great guy. The fake aspect of the business world where the carreer an the big money is really disgust me. Does my lack of motivation for carreer automaticly makes it balck and white and am I a loser? Or is there a grey zone? I have money, because I still live with my parents I saved up probably way more than most full time working men have who work full time and live on their own. And I have plans for building a house of my own in a few years, I can build on a lot my parents own. I am willing to work on that, but I have zero motivation for building a carreer, I like to work as less as possible. They look for better qualities than just being able to make money. Your last question puzzles me, I would try to bring out the best in her If I really loved her soits not that important to me if she compensates this with being interesting, artistic, intelligent, kind, sporty or has an awesome personality and body. Haha tnx dude, but your article got me thinking. I can afford to make a financial risk for my belgian beer export business and mayebe find my best self back when I start making some money. Cheers and happy hollidays! This article basically tells all women that they deserve Prince Charming and nothing less. Most people are not attractive, intelligent or rich. An averrage woman does not autoamtically deserve to be with an exceptional man. Can you guys do math at all? Only 20% of men are 6 feet or taller. Let us assume that 25% of men are at least slightly good looking. That brings us to 1. It is absurd for an average woman to demand this and alot more absurd for a fat single mother to demand this. This article makes it sound like women are generally flawless and shouold settle for nothing less than perfect but the reality is most of us are average people and women people should not expect to find partners who have so much more to offer than they do. I see this brunette babe in this picture, with this kid that dont smile, and looks like hes not there, Id take this girl dote on her and do what she wants ,,,, noooo shed rather be with a loser that has no scruples or backbone. He turned out to be an alcoholic and liked the drink more than me, something I did not realise when we first started our relationship. I however want something else in a relationship like companionship and intimacy etc. I have never pretended to be someone I am not. What you see is what you get with me. I am independent financially and emotionally and want to meet my equal, not Prince Charming or some rich guy, just a decent human being. This is sadly becoming very difficult for man women who are sucked in by liars and losers. I believe there are just not enough decent men to go around. I am honestly not fussy at all and have always given men a go but have now given up as they always end up using me. I am not demanding or needy…just a normal, nice woman but the men I meet can really be quite breathtakingly dishonest and self seeking. It just goes too far when the other person skates on that goodness, and never steps up to the plate. Many women, and men, had a father who was a financial support but not an emotional one. He was never home, he was always working. So, when you look for a partner, maybe you subconsciously LIKE that this person sees the work, work, work mentality as undesirable. Maybe you want a person that has time to spend with you. Ambition towards living differently, or having other ideas is cool too. But someone treating you badly, no. CHOOSING THE ANIMAL Put two of any species in a box and think carefully how that looks. Knowing that the first logical step will be personal survival. The second will be dominance and control. Then the nesting instinct, the need for basic necessities. Elephants, females push the male away and only use them for breading, male Elephants will spend their lifetime alone and be stampeded if they come within range of female elephant mothers. A snake mates and leaves, they do not hang, they are not touchy feely, they need a warm rock and some sunshine. A rabbit likes to nest, a male and female will love to have children and sleep together forever. They love sex, they are vegans. They are soft and cozy and live a simple life. They are fast too. They like running around in the forest and quickies are lovely sport. A fox has a den a wife a litter a life. A fox is crafty, sly, sneaky and she is also. A wolf is dominant, impulsive, determined, wise, loves a crowd, but likes his down time to think. He fought for her, drew blood for her. She is the same but is more in protection of her cubs, she will let him roam, she has better things to do. She loves him at a distance and is respectful at all times. He admires his cubs and likes to play with her on summer days. They have fun, but mostly life is serious business. In all cases, she makes the choice, but he initiates that dance. A female animal has zero time for a man who will not make the investment. Any female who will settle for less then what she NEEDS!!! She should know what one she is first. Added Note: A female animal will rarely if ever pick a wounded male. Often she will pick up the litter and move on, even if she remains alone. Most males will pick available females, he in most cases is not choosey, he wants what he wants and he wants it soon. She is responsible for breeding rights, he is responsible for keeping himself ready to attain her breeding rights. I want to talk with them. I am done with the kind of shit for men that have been swarming around me for decades. Then I have to kick their asses to shreds in order for them to become better men? After the reject finds that he is no longer worthy to even know my name? Why are you men as stupid arrogant as you all appear to be. If you think that their are 13 women to your every man on this planet then go find them. Go with the skank you are seeking and stay away from me. I am tired of training you were to shit and piss upon is not going to be ever me. You learn with the bitch that will put up with your scumloserness. I am done with you pieces of shit for men. You belong in your Scumshit Planet, not with myself. She is that idiot that puts up with your continued abuse of her. She is that dumbass women that hides the fact that your are as miserable as she is and you make the perfect match in your hell. And your women knew this before your attacks upon me. She is that bitch that you have been with that you would falsely use my name to get your way with your skank. Stop blaming me for what you are. I am not the problem. How dare you pieces of shit for people. Do not terrorize and attack my entire life and children due to you being primitive beasts for people who have nothing better to do than to treat me like you want to treat the skank that you have been dealing with who is not me. Get out of my life. Or who you think you have become. Or who you think will make you a better man than that skank you used as a weapon you are stuck with. Get out of my life and stay out of it. You made your own dog bed with your nasty vicious bitch of a woman. You men that lost me know why you did and why you are duds to me. How dare you lie, cheat, steal from me over your problems and issues. How dare you violate me and my children why you know why you lost me in your lives. Stay out and know that you have not changed. You are not a better man. You have gotten worse with your nasty vicious bitch that had to hear your complaints with her not me. Tell her the truth of why you lost me in your life. And no longer use me or what delusions that your mentalities think of me in your past. You knew what your problems and issues where and are before your ever forced yourselves into my life and what the summation of your terrorism upon my life is the same as when you were rejected by me to get out of my life. You need your skank and she needs her scumloser. No matter what you tried to revenge me for it is you that never learns that I have enough weaponry in regard to you to show everyone that you remain that scumloser of a man that I do not want. I do not need. And that you endlessly chase your tail seeking that stupid idiot for a woman who thinks she is better than me when she is not and all that you are are womanizers and will never learn the difference. Feel better about your little arrogant ignorant skank scumlosers selves for attacking me falsely and wrongfully over who you are and I am not? Truth bite you and kick you in the ass once again? GET OUT OF MY LIFE. Take your piece of shit with you, you nasty UGLY pieces of shit bitch. I agree with everybody. I think that these guys are just manipulative, lieing losers. They prey on vulnerable women and make them believe they will give them the world. Or she puts you six feet under. May be you just got trickbagged by a lieing manipulative women version of yourself. So suck it up and pull your thumb out your ass. Stuck as a perpetual fourteen year old. But we should NEVER have sex with them…no matter how well endowed he is or how much he SEEMS to know about tantric sex. This breed must die out. I just want to voice another view of this debate. Some women like losers because they like to be in control. Not all women have bad self esteem or are trying to fix a man. Why is it that a man can date any loserish woman he wants yet no one posts about that? If men can use women for sex then I a woman can do the same too! I know I am really late replying to this, but as a female who was engaged to a deadbeat, I feel the need to comment. I met Mr X on a music video set that I was a makeup artist for. At the time he seemed like everything I at 22 albeit a very young 22 wanted. He worked full time, liked music, and was a Goth. I encouraged him to pursue his talent in art however, and remember telling him that working in a chafe at minimum wage was only fine if he intended on becoming the worlds best barrista, or it was his passion. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with Mr X and he was originally very emotionally supportive. Problems arose when we both went back to study. He refused to get a job, and mooched which resulted in us me going to in to NZD25k of debt. Not an ideal situation. Eventually I realised that at 32 his ways were essentially set in stone. He was happy living off of the student benefit, spending everything on alcohol and partying, not focussing on a school and failing. I knew I could not change him, and other than general support and encouragement partners give, never did. I guess it came down to being young and stupid and wanting a goth boyfriend. I am now 27, and am still dealing with the consequences of being with a deadbeat. My studies have gone on hold as I put paying back debt at upmost importance most came from him not paying rent in favor of partying and getting tattoos and have nearly payed off everything working a job I hate. Sorry for the essay. I have dyspraxia so hope I expressed my view clearly. I would certainly say that they are really the Big Losers. I feel bad for a lot of these girls, especially the ones that have to have my leftovers, my ex is a dead beat daddy, cower, fake, pedophile, mentally slow, loser. I love our child but wow! I would never date a dead beat father! They just want to get laid and have fun also have some help with the bills if they are loser without any higher education. When really this is all a way to cover up for the scum bags and loser that they are. Ugh makes me sick! Their own less than decent behavior is thereby justified. Being with a good person removes your own justification for being selfish. Also, girls who only like bad boys are full of it. Like good men not nice guys they are busy. Some real outlaws do embody being a bad boy, like real bikers. Their reputation precedes them. They just want some attention. They deserve each other. I lived with a deadbeat pothead woman for 8 years. I loved her so much because she was intelligent, witty, and had a passion for many of the things I liked. The only problem was that she was extremely lazy and never applied herself. She expected me to do everything. She never offered any emotional support and ended up being more of a roommate than a lover, and a bad roommate at that. She would sit around and play MMOs constantly and not want to do anything else. I showed interest in it and would congratulate her accomplishments. She then started acting like she didnt want me around. I noticed her hiding conversations from me. She was becoming friends with her guildmate and they talked on Skype every day. I figured there was no harm in it because he lived all the way in Sweden. I caught them havung Skype sex one night. She revealed to me her plan to move to Sweden with him abd they would meet on Valentines day. I felt so bad. Her treating me better makes me happy but I still feel like something is missing. I like a woman who I can debate politics or philosophy with, not someone who debates about what happens on Real Housewives. She treats me better though, so im happy in this relationship. I can keep the philosophical debates for my friends. In other words, the of women in America — even in prime working age — working ~50-60 hours a week, is quite small while very common for men. Personally, I wished my wife worked. I know, I know. Two months later, it became obvious why. Bat-shat crazy with depression, daddy issues, etc. Thanks for the chuckle LOL — brings back memories of a time I hope never to return to. I am a natural fixer in life. I have an excellent job and an awesome family. I fell hard for someone recently that I felt was my mate for life. At first he showed me his home and land. He told me about his child I am a single mother myself. He had a huge amount of land and a family business. I thought my prayers of finding someone that was hard working like me were over. We enjoyed so many of the same things, and were like peas in a pod. I noticed after a while… He has a family business that his mother runs. His mother controlled his money, and paid all the bills for his home and land from the family business. I would work all day, and he would nap most of the day. So basically after time, I realized. He sat around and watched TV and napped all day. His once very nice home ended up dirty and very unclean after a while, until his mother visited once a month, then it would be clean again. There was never food at his house. He also had never been married. He had a child, but never married the mother. His child was a demon when he visited. The man had so much resentment for the childs mother that he let him get away with ridiculous things so that when he returned him to his mother, the child misbehaved with her. Then it just kept going on and on in this relationship. I kept doing more and more and more. We began arguing because he never had money, but nevery wanted to get a job. During a heated argument…. He was stating something that I had said previously, and was using it against me as he had always done before. He called me a joke. It was not the worst words that he had ever called me.. But it was the truest words he had ever said. I was a joke. I was the one that let this lowlife person consume me. They were laughing at me and not with me anymore becuase I had gone out with this individual. I was a joke. It was the best words that he ever could have said. I cut the relationship immediately and walked away from that person. I have looked back and do miss him, but not alot. It was time to move forward and that person was not for me. I missed out on a year and a half of my life. And that is time that I will never get back, but it is the best lesson of a year and a half of my life. It taught me that my values were higher than others and I deserved better. That is complete BS. Okay, maybe some women do, but when a woman keeps picking the same type of loser, she is getting something out of it for herself. My former best friend for thirty years has picked guys with the following qualities: No money, no education, dead beat dad, drug addict, done time in prison, uses everyone and anyone, wants meaningless drug-induced hard-core sex. She is very shallow. I agree with Victoria, it is about wanting control…with a minimal amount of effort. At first, I thought, she must have some underlying self-esteem issues. But one after another deadbeat came and went, and she pursued all of them like a horny housecat. I began to realize that the men she chooses are the ones she wants. She gets a feeling of power and superiority over them. And if there is trouble, with the relationship, or even the law etc. Every problem is HIS FAULT. When is someone going to write a book about that? This happened to me! I was with a once working man who made money, bought me things, while we worked at the same place. I made more than he but he supported his child, and helped with bills while living with me. That all changed once he got fired, started his drug habit again. Weird that someone who had nothing and I gave him everything would do that. Women go out with dead beats and losers because they have no self respect. A man can spot the difference between a woman with self respect, a lady and a skank in the blink of an eye. TMF Hi guys, Here are my 2 cents. These thoughts are related to the article but a bit diverging at times. I read several articles on women empowerment, women issues, feminism, etc. This is due to increased social and economic mobility where people born in lower income groups can make their way to higher levels through hard work. Again this happened throughout history but earlier the barriers were almost insurmountable. Now the barriers are much less rigid and to an extent almost non-existent. The ideal way to understand this is my dividing the population into different percentile groups by earning. Top 20%, 60-80%, 40-60% etc. Some basic generalized assumptions should be correct in 95% or more cases according to my experience and observation : Men like to earn more than their female partners. Women like their partner to earn more than them. This factor affects two groups greatly: A Women who are in the top 20% earning band. These women need to find partners in the same profession so both can equally share towards a higher living lifestyle. However men in this band might rather go for a women with a bit lesser income so the career of the male partner is prioritized. I am a male and do not believe there is anything bad in this thought B Male who are in the bottom 20% income band or deadbeats according to the article. These would be unemployed, minimum wage or temporary contracts. They generally cannot find partners based on income, intellect, etc. But again this works for a smaller time length. Women in early 20s might go with this man out of curiosity,to have new experience,etc. Hence the current system pushes males to earn higher so they can select from a larger group of females. It disincentives higher earning females by reducing their chances of finding a male. This would protect their wealth over a longer term. This arrangement provided partners for people in every band, even males in the lowest band. However within the current system there is a constant struggle to move upwards. AGAIN nothing bad in this situation: it has given us social mobility, more inventiveness, entrepreneurship, better quality of life, more goods,etc. But it also leads to :Faster pace of life, lower cohesiveness within society, constant jumping from one partner to other both for males and females ,etc,etc… By the way liked the article very much. MATT So the essence of what your are saying is the American way of life is anti-stable family. America led the path to social mobility and also divorce and feminism, both of which are anti-male. So for lower social economic status men, leaving the North America may be in their best social interest, but not in their social welfare interest American welfare is near the best in the world. The only way around the divorce issue is to live in sin, never marry. I am objectively above average looking and intelligence and higher earning than most men. I bought him a sign for his truck when he worked for himself doing construction. Never could get more than part time hours. I let him move in so he could get caught up on bills he owed and get back on his feet. I went back to school to become a dentist so he wanted to go back to school too. He became a chiropractor. I mean he literally cannot pay his expenses. Meanwhile I spent thousands helping him get his first office set up. I started buying properties and paying him to do maintenance, so I am actually his main source of income. But he has nothing saved, is in huge debt, and yet each day seems to do very little to market his clinic or get the word out to patients who could use his care. His a good chiropractor but a terrible business man. From the beginning, I always paid for both of us when we go put. Even before I met him I have always paid my way because I never wanted to be indebted to anyone. From my twenties to now. I never expected anyone to pay my my way. So you judge me saying well you must be ugly. I am attractive even if I say so myself. So you say well you must be a loser with low self esteem. That is easy for you to say. But what about the fact that he is a genuinely nice person and I genuinely care about him and want the best for him. I want him to thrive. I just want him to pull his own weight. Men like you judge women who wanttheir man to earn decent living. You call them gold diggers. If they settle you call them losers or ugly. Sounds like you just hate women. I am not looking for him to be rich. He is also 50 by the way. But when my mom and brother were terminally ill, he went with me to care for them. The problem, by providing for him I feel like his mom or older sister. I have always tried to work from the assumption we are equal. And he does have skills I will never have which I admire. He is always available. Like a good girlfriend. I am not frigid. He tells me it is always new for him like the first time and always finds me hot. He is skillful on bed to his credit. Even though he too is exceptionally very good looking. I am writing because I honestly want input here. Two choices: either you stay with him for the friendship and accept that he will not pull his weight, or you end it. I hate using the word, but you are acting as an enabler. My dearest relative has gotten herself into a situation that is incomprehensible to me. But his life story sent up so many red flags about him — nothing criminal or anything like that — but he seems to function only through the women he has been with. Anyway… The thing to do is live separately. I wonder if you met this man when you were at the top of your game, so to speak… what would this type be? Also, I hear your tone soften as you spoke about boyfriend helping with caring for your parents. I get the sense you took on a lot of responsibility as a child. Not, to mention we have been condition as women to care for others before ourselves. Your boyfriend Doesnt maintain anything because he knows you will take care of everything. He is using your weakness and strengths against you. There is no excuse for his grown ass healthy self to not be ablessed to make a living for himself. We have been condition to pit everyone before ourselves that doing it any other way seems unnatural. Get a puppy less headaches. You should seek counseling to get yourself help. Go get what makes you happy! Hell, get nice guy that can hold his own and have some mad crazy sex! You will forget all about nice guy broke lazy ass! I look forward to an update! Thank you for responding so thoughtfully! You had me laughing and also cringing because you have a funny way of pointing things out and also because you cut to the heart of some things that I have to admit are true. You are wise and generous. The update is if you are still out there : I still go to work 9+ hours per day 5 days a week to a stressful clinic and come home exhausted. I bought a house which we do not live in, but which I wanted him to renovate so that we could move into it. The deal was that I would not pay him for the renovation because he would live there with me when it was done. I felt that if he was providing this valuable contribution, then I could justify being the only earner. He did a chunk of the renovation. He works on it a little bit on the weekends and wants me to work with him. I do but I am exhausted. During the week he goes to his office and sees zero to three patients per week. I imagine George Castanza under his desk. I see at least 100 patients per week to put it into perspective. If I do call it quits, it is hard to imagine taking this leap. I guess I am scared. But also just plain exhausted. I feel like I can barely get a breath above water as it is. And also worried for what will happen to him. I do love him as a friend and family member. His father just got a bad diagnosis and will not be around long. I should be there during this tough time as he was for us. If I leave, he might go into a deep depression. Or, as you said he might turn around and find someone else or become successful! Ironically my first two husbands cringe that sounds so bad that I had two husbands became independent and respectable after we parted ways! That sounds even worse and it is all true! I am always ashamed of the fact that I had two husbands and that they were both losers when I was with them and are now successful. This is so illuminating and so awful to realize! So he is a grandpa now. They have tried to imply I am grandma but I am not feeling it. I never played mom to them and never married their father so I am not going to jump in as a third pseudo grandmother. I have a grown son who is getting married in the Fall in Hawaii. I will have to pay for his trip to Hawaii and am guessing that he and his x-wife may be wanting me to pay for their two daughters and their hubbies also to go to this destination wedding. He instead made some admittedly very pretty decorations out of tree branches that he gathered. The worst case scenario: he sinks into a deep depression, his father illness progresses, I am not part of the family during this tough time and am cast as the coldest-hearted witch. But with my track record, all indicators are that he will actually be BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME! So really, for HIS sake and my own, I should pull out. Even though I love him. And BECAUSE I love him. Ms Jaqueline, you have given me a lot to think out loud about. I was a professional photographer 9 years and a nanny 5, then developed cancer due to my high levels of stress, 80 hour work weeks, and 3 hrs sleep nightly since age 17. To me, men are babies. They need full time care, emotionally and mentally. I stay for a while out of guilt. I get nothing out of relationships because I refuse to carry a full grown man through life. But back to why I relate to you. I am currently dating someone. He of course needs me. He of course wants to marry me. I am now finding myself planning to open a business just to support both of us in life. The difference with him is that I do love him. He stayed with Me in the hospital 4 days. He is loyal to me. I got caught up in this situation being with a man who makes me look less attractive due to the added stress. People are shallow, cold, and judgemental. I just came back to this board and realized you and others had reached out. Thank you so much for responding. I can feel your frustration. I had never though about it that way, giving up your looks for the relationship. But in fact that is exactly what is happening. When you are basically working the work of two people, you are burning the candle at both ends and the stress eats away at you. God I hope your cancer has been curable. And now I am going to give you some advice that for some reason is easier to say than to hear. It is something my Mom said up until she passed last year: Take care of yourself because no on else will. You have a right to take care of yourself, too. Is he taking care of you in other ways? I think your words are ugly! I think just by your words your UGLY! ARE U 5 YEARS OLD?? U THINK STRIPPERS ARE UGLY? THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALL UGLY! WHO ARE U TO SAY ALL STRIPPERS ARE UGLY??? HAVE U TALKED TO A STRIPPERS BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB? WOMEN STRI0 FOR MANY DIFFERENT reasons. So for u to just say strippers are ugly. Shows your age ur a child! I am married to a looser absolutely miserable and very beautiful. I have 3 kids 15 19 and 9. Handsome who may have been spoiled by women all his life. THAT is the guy a woman should look more closely at. I know because I married a guy like that about 31 years ago and he is my best friend, my husband. Men treating women less than well may work in the movies but not in real life. This topic, in general, is one yet to be taken very seriously. That minimizes the very specific pain and emotional damage associated with dating one particularly bad man. Where walking away felt like giving up on somebody you loved. Where you still thought of him as a good man working to be a better man. And while you were digging yourself in deeper, distracted by the practice of unconditional love, this man reveals his true self. A full coming out party, as the very bad man he is. And yet, u continue to stay. Loneliness and unworthy feelings are now the only reality you know. Not just the result of this mans heinous carelessness. More damaging was the shaming by loved ones and general school of thought that only a flawed woman would choose that. You go back him. More than a few times. There was no reward. Down on their luck men in this thread can spin yarns all day about the insecure girl who loves to be mistreated. But it only serves to reveal their personal insecurities irrelevant to this discussion. Also hoping things will get better as they once were in the early days together. But how to change that feeling? My conscious mind tells me that yes, I deserve better. But I keep letting the loser manipulate me….. This is what I battle every day anymore. He swears everyone else is the problem and makes one excuse after another when he is eventually fired. He lived off of her and had her working two jobs and bugging her parents for money for years. The other woman figured him out and when my relative threw his crap out he came back after the plane landed at 2 in the morning making threats. She took that piece of garbage back and her room mate told them both to leave. Not only do you walk away from scum like that C Higgins you drop a nuke to wipe if off the face of the earth. You do deserve better no matter what you or others think. Instead, those women just want to play the field and have a good time. Women have a tremendous amount of power over men, particularly when they are young and hot. If they are smart and mature, they use it wisely. It astounds me how many women squander this power… Easiest way to tell, IMO, if the guy is a good guy is to not put out for the first few dates except for a kiss. I think the reason a lot of gals end up with bad guys is they are attracted to a lot of their characteristics — spontaneous, carefree, etc. A lot of them are also attractive and due to not having a job or not having a job that requires you to work more than 35 hrs a week have plenty of time to stay in shape also. My sister in law is that way. Recently, I tried to set her up with one my few single friends in his early 30s who just recently got out of a LTR. Look to the parents for answers to this question. There are a lot of people in committed relationships who bend over backwards to hide that so they can cheat until the emptiness in their lives is filled — or so they believe. And they prey viciously on the single population, knowing full well that there are so many of us for the taking. Date with caution, my fellow singles. And ladies, keep your legs crossed. I agree with everything said here, particularly with the comments about what women are doing in their 20s. I notice that much of the party scene here in NC is filled with young, tanned, fit people but not many have careers or even good jobs. Many work at the beauty counter at the mall, the gym as a personal trainer, or starter jobs. They spend all their time on appearance vs making money and building a future. It is rare that you find someone who does both. I totally agree that women waste their time on good looks and sacrifice quality characteristics like ambition, compassion, and stable career. However, I do believe the good guys get taken early so you are left with a very small pool where you must choose between attractiveness and earning potential, decent morals, and all-around nice guy. Very hard to find both! You are all wrong. Here is the issue, women have been making more money over the last 20 years than they ever had before. Now women have the same mentality that men have about money and status. On an everyday basis I see it more and more that the woman is in charge of the relationship. I see woman driving and men sitting in the passenger seat of the car. I see woman being single mothers with the father nowhere to be found. The question is why, why do I see that. A working man that is busy cannot be around all the time when a woman needs him because she is busy also. It is a crazy game these days, but the people losing are the hard working men. They both told me when they broke up wit them that they feel like they wasted their time. The only thing I can think of is they thought they were hot, probably the hottest guy they dated. They were obsessed with their man. They dont realize until the relationship is really over that they achieved nothing, no house, no car, no savings. The relationship was a waste of time. Tell that to my roommate who is a total loser but somehow gets women. This guy leaves used condoms on his floor for months at a time without even bothering to clean up after himself. That is a loser in my opinion. How can he be anything but a loser? In the world of love, I am a loser. This man requires some acknowledgement, any signal, something, anything that hints at a possibility. Perhaps I should be more direct. With women I am acquainted with I do engage in banter, etc. I grew up thinking the same as most normal men. If you build it they will come. I built a good life great career, a growing side business that is profitable, enjoy good health and want for nothing except a normal girlfriend. I am at ease talking to anybody about anything. I can go to a party rare event and easily socialize. I can come and go as I please. There are very few if any truly available women. I have no chance at all with these women because I might have a trait or two that remind them of their ex-husbands or fathers who they might hate very much. These traits could be anything from a wrinkled shirt to my baldness. Busy: these are the women around my age that have given up and have thrown themselves into caring for their grandchildren. They think all men are the same. They also gulped the feminist ideology early in life but now find themselves looking for validation and comfort from other women in the same boat. She;s got orange peel all over her and her midsection is bulging. Her expiration date is long past and she offers nothing to compensate like a nice home cooked meal, affection, compassion, or support. Insecure: I have a business partner who happens to be a woman. For some reason, partner conjures up sex regardless of the adjective. These women want to control everything about you. Conflicted: you would think at middle age and after all the feminist wars, sex is something to be enjoyed. But not for a lot of these middle aged women. They would rather make the decision than suffer rejection. Normally adjusted: she has a boyfriend. Dino, this is in regards to your post. I agree with how hard it must be to find any kind of partner due to past relationships and unforeseen circumstances. I was in a relationship for 18 yrs. I always dreamed of being that girl that wanted to grow old with the man I had children with, have grandbabies and be happy. I was far from that. I had a beautiful son 9 yrs. He was born with a disability, he turned my life around. He is 19 yrs. When my son started school full time I decided it was time to go back to work, I wanted my independence. I am a very independent and stubborn person, I will admit it. I am not unreasonable and I am very good listener to sensible. I bought my own house with a little help from my sister, my son and I were now on our own. I stayed away from relationships for 18 months. I then met, a man younger than me at the establishment where we both worked. He was one of those guys that said all the right things and made me feel really good about myself. Especially after being in a so called marriage of never going anywhere or doing anything for myself. He wanted to spend time with me and always had the right thing to say. I know, red flag there He also lived in a furnished basement suite with really nothing except his cloths. He only lived half a block away from me. He started coming over almost every night. He would mow my lawn, and we would talk for hrs. I was in a really good place financially. I always had money in my pocket, I had a low mortgage, my car was paid off. He was making really good money as well. We dated for about 6 months then he said he could move in and help me out. Things were great for a while, then things started to change. Maybe it was me that was changing. We have been together 10 yrs. Within these years I have always worked. I have taken care of my son. Things started to change about 4 yrs. Its hard to explain just when it changed. He is very vacant when I talk to him. He has confessed that within the 10 yrs. He is consumed with pot and associates with bad company. He checks out other women, not just the occasional glance, the stare for 30 second look. These are just some of the things he has done. It gets so much deeper than that. I would do it for him, I would enjoy it, but not every weekend and my holidays. I want to travel and see places. Walk on the beach holding hands and lay on the beach somewhere drinking fruity drinks. I am a hopeless romantic, I like supper by candlelight or just cuddling on the couch watching movies. We are now in dept. He has all the boy toys, Quad, Snowmobile, Motor Bike, and Trailer to hail them all. He has all the hunting gear. Now this is the second time and as the saying goes, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I am now in the process of a separation. I cannot handle the things he does now to drive me crazy and knows it. I have lost my trust in him. I now get anxiety attacks and my memory is not what it used to be, caused by stress. I am not going to say that this is all his fault, cause its not. I guess my point is…. Well…yes we are, but we get hurt and demolished inside. We have all had our share of crap in our lives. We as women hold on to things for a long time. We are definitely made to think differently than men. I wish that I could just let things roll off my back. But with that said, if the right guy came along and treated, and I will just speak for myself here, the way I need to be treated, I could work on seeing past all the crap that has happened in my life. Yes, there will always be little things that will remind me of things that happened in my past. I do believe that with that right person those things fade in time. Its all about understanding each other as well. I have always been one to say that everything we go through in life is a lesson. I know from this lesson that my standards for myself are higher. I know that I will not try to make a man a better man or think that I can save him. I would like to have a man in my life that I can trust, have fun with, laugh with, talk for hrs. I am a dreamer, but after all this is done, I will be holding out for a man who knows how to respect and love me. We all have stories, some good, some not so good. Some learn from them some never do. Unfortunately there are so many very Mentally Disturbed Psycho Women nowadays everywhere us Good Men go since when we will try to start a Normal Conversation with a woman that we would really like too meet which she will start Cursing at us for No Reason at all. Had it happened to me already and a friend that i know had the same thing happened to him as well about two months after me. It is very Obvious with these Pathetic Low Life Loser Women that do have very Severe Mental Issues why many of us men are still Single today which we have No Reason to Blame ourselves either since these women need Help very badly. And by treat me well, I really mean neither reject, abuse, nor abandon me. For all my education, I had no idea what drove humans to make decisions love, fears, beliefs or what the major fears failure, rejection, abandonment consisted of. Had I known these things, I would have chosen to be alone rather than waste my time with losers. Had I been life smart, I would have gotten counseling and opened my heart to a real man who was a winner. Had I known myself better-that is-know my true feelings and base my knowledge of them off of what I thought about, did, and dreamed of—rather than the lies I told myself—I would have lived my young adulthood radically differently. I was better looking; in better shape; more muscled and heavier on the scale; more educated; better traveled; more responsible; and had a better personality. And I came from less. Whenever we went out, people stared and, at times, even laughed. They ended up treating me like garbage and made fun of me quite frequently. This turned into emotional and, finally, physical abuse. My self-concept was a train wreck given the highly abusive and chaotic childhood I had had. It turned me into a beautiful person and over-achiever, and I really regret not seeing myself in that light. If only I had had someone sit me down and discuss with me my self-concept…but no one cared enough. I used to do this too. Once u get them they start thinking well if I can get her then I can do even better BC it must be something about me that makes me so special. Try what I did w my loser ex. He was very mean and ugly w me and controlling and unsupportive. Always rejected me and gaslighted me on a regular basis. Yes it was mean but he was abusive. His face dropped and all of a sudden the bad boy facade melted and he started playing the victim. I left him and have been happy ever since. I think to myself what was I thinking?! I gave him 6 years of undying loyalty BC I cared about him more than myself and I had little to show for it. Those old guys have been around longer than u and know all the right things to say to charm you. Proceed with caution if u are dating any man that is more than 8-10 years older than you. And the women back then REALLY DID put these women today to real shame altogether as well. My issue is my trust for women isnt there anymore …it takes two to tango but since we are focused on women here. I will say this. They think that they wield some special power over men and think they should be pursued and loved and taken care of and all that…basically entitled, and put nothing into the relationship. Makes me just wanna run right up to them and say hello haha. Good luck to both sides we all need it. Men looking for a free ride are thinking the exact same way about how to get what they want that being as much as possible for nothing which is why going out specifically to meet men you meet losers. The good men are too busy having a life to go to things where nasty people are putting knives in each others backs, if youre serious about finding a good man you should be too busy to be a part of that too, the creeps will only turn you off men in the end. Hey, this comment is a bit late in coming; I only saw this article today July 15th. If you follow the principles for living as a Christian, you may or may not get rich not the only goal in life but you will be a happier, more contented person, and more likely to find the partner you can live with and enjoy. Even if you are not ready to believe in God, seek out some older couples who have been around the block a few times eg. The women get the worst of it. This explains a lot of what Sam is talking about when it comes to women dating losers. Ive given up on thsese women because they are so brainwashed. I have to take care of myself and my family and the churches should be ashamed of their disgusting doctrines. The abuse was prevalent in schools as well. My own siblings and myself were told in our lousy public school that girls only have babies and cook. Nearly 25% of my female classmates had their lives destroyed by religion. Your life is nothing but changing diapers and cleaning up after an adult male who makes all of your decisions for you, because as they explain it, women are just too dumb. One sibling was betrated and thrown out of a pre-engineering course, another was pushed out of science, and I was denied Advanced Placement courses despite exceeding all requirements. Religion is a cancer and it only helps those who want to be in charge. Everyone like me is taxed to pay for their needs so that they can just focus on what they want to waste money on. Trying to base such important decisions in life on a bunch of nonsense from desert savages makes about as much sense as calling a psychic hotline. Mack for help regarding my Marriage issue. Does this make you a loser? Does that make you a loser? I have kids and I am divorced. My whatever you would call him is in rehab, no job, no car, no home, etc. I prefer not to be associated with him. I know I can do a lot better. Men and women are alike although at different times in their lives. Some day I will meet the man of my dreams Hi everyone, I dont know how did I came across this post, but felt need to input some info here. I do agree with some of the guys in the post. Since some of you claimed young women go after bad guys or losers. Most nice guys I know wont go after seconds or even thirds. This is the reason why nice guys turned most of these type of women away. A question to ask- Who in the right mind would want a wife who been around the block a few times? That question never gets old and has been asked so many times. The answer would be Self-respect. It better to learn early not later. By going after dead-beat losers meaning giving up a chance to find a really nice guy later on. With that, is what causes Nice or successful guys to turn these women away. I dont think Family have anything to do on rather a guy would be a loser or Successful. Modern Dating is by far the most vicious I ever seen. By the way, I am very happy to be with my wife who never been with other guys. Just my 2 cents here. Church girls are actually some of the worse here, and they generally do a better job of hiding it. A lot of you people think too much. It comes down to this with women dating losers. A great percentage of women will dismiss all those qualities they are looking for if the guy is good-looking and great in the sack. Just like men do that with hot women. Why do men date sex workers like strippers? Only the bottom of the barrel will tolerate such personal degrading and self loathing. Its not healthy and strippers wonder why they date deadbeats? Get a real skill and you might get some respect. PRIVACY: We will never disclose or sell your email address or any of your data from this site. We do highly welcome posts and community interaction, and registering is simply part of the posting system. DISCLAIMER: Financial Samurai exists to thought provoke and learn from the community. Your decisions are yours alone and we are in no way responsible for your actions. Stay on the righteous path and think long and hard before making any financial transaction!